September 2, 2011

lucia, i once met a girl named lucia

okay so i'm in LA and staying with Paulilu Productions for most of my stay, and if i weren't already in love with them, i'd fall into it on this trip. but i was already, so now i'm just oozing my love all over my bloomers and need another outlet.
you guys lucia's so fucking special and funny. i mean, they both are, and EXTREMELY so, but i was watching her on funny or die's "mob wives" (click to watch) and she is quintessential lucia -- hilarious the whole time but subtle as shit so you need to rewind and replay to catch it.

lolol these screen shots are hilarious. she is EXTREMELY beautiful, but i love that you can NOT tell that here haha omg.
lol sil* = me

*so in love

August 27, 2011

ONE BIG ROOM. FULLA BAD BITCHES

so you know kreayshawn? yes u do..



i love that fking song and video. but i noticed something unrelated. kreayshawn's friend, the other lil funky LA lez, looks to me like Taylor Swift in Awesome DK* Drag.


 not yet convinced?
well, okay, that makes sense. it would be a stretch for her to-- WAIT
right?
i could just be racist against Aryans like they all look the same to me but i don't think so, man. this is like straight up taylor swift's face. even if it isn't her, Taytay could dress up like the one on the left and would look exactly like her. ugh how funny would it be if Taylor Swift came out, christian mothers across america would like puke and kill themselves, and their daughters would be like, "i'm gay, mommy!"


*dyke via matt stopera

August 25, 2011

recent dope ish

so last frank ocean thing ever bc it's getting gross: we share the same issue of Fader, Frank on the front, Broad City in the middle snuggled up next to Pharrell. written by Naomi Zeichner and photo by Noah Rabbinowitz. jewz yall.

front:
holy fucking shit, honestly. his face is universal beauty. fucking dudes, man. all women have to look at is their faces because they're not degraded enough in media. take off ur shirt, FO, do it for women's equality! people are tricked into falling in love with public figures, i think, cuz when we see a face over and over and over again. it trains our brains to be like, "Like." i guess it's the same for men with misogynistic images, like how can they not want to violently fuck a woman when they see her looking back like winking as though they're f-ing her. and all other images imitate that same shit.
le fucking SIGH. this world, amirite? #oldinside

da meat:
So close and yet so far #Pharrell. Fader's a nice ass magazine, like nice paper n shit. I'm wearing the same shirt today as what I wore in this pic. Our bottom halves looked good that day, too, but this pic's pretty dope and super NYC.

then this article happened the same day, yesterday...
a kind blogger named kelly mcclure from vice magazine online aka viceland (i think that's how it goes?) like basically proposed eating my P lol. i anticipate people not knowing if i'm gay in my career. das coo.

July 29, 2011

ocean frank

Okay I don't love having obsessions because it takes up a lot of my brain space, and it's repetitive, and it feels unhealthy. Like now I have to resist watching Nicki videos all the live long day. When I was a teenager I was so pathetically obsessed with The Beatles it was weird and not cool. I would like cry lol and write about them, but that's what helped get me over it, so that's what I'm gonna do now.

I. can. not. stop. listening to nostalgia/ultra, Frank Ocean's cherry poppin solo album (I think?), and I have to write about it and him to go through it to get over it.

 fraaaaaank & pointin out syd cuz wat a badass bitch honestly

Okay so the first thing is that I know that someone's art does not equal their whole personality, and I DEFinitely know with my friends as my example, that just because someone is really funny or creative or talented doesn't mean s/he's a good bf or gf. Lol no offense but forea.

But having said that, I srsly believe that Frank Ocean would be a dope boyfriend. First of all, he's not a homophobe, which, considering the art he's surrounded by, is brave and impressive n sexy as hell. The album is so well-rounded, and his sophistication is jarring. His narrative style is different from track to track -- like "lovecrimes" is like a narrator showing clips of some tryst, "american wedding" is like a guy telling the story after it just happened to him and then that secret track at the end is r*tarrrrrded it's so beautiful, and I only learned about it today because I always skipped that song bc it reminds me of like red-nosed WASPy dad from home turning that up at a bbq.

He's 23 I think, and he wholly encapsulates the feeling of like "The Graduate" period in errybody's lives. Each song represents a different faction as opposed to, like, trying to represent everything in each track and coming off self aggrandizing (had to look that one up, been mumbling the end of that word for like 7 years). omg and he also like loves smart girls I LOVE THAT SHIT. bitch I GOT BRAINZ 4 U.

I think his real name is Chris I read on his Tumblr. He's so smart that he makes nostalgic references because nostalgia is obviously the hottest thing on the internet because it's like Gen Y jacking off their souls. When he says the Shwayze shit... "something something ghost -- no shwayze. Eva since I lost my bay bee." Damn, and in one song, he's like, "Is it wrong that I want to be the baby's daddy?" Like DAMN -- no, I wouldn't want to have a kid at 23, but DAMN that's like some sexy ass shit. Holy shit what a man, what a mighty good man.

Omg I can't believe how much I'm writing about him haha. I am seriously kind of in love, though. I also love that he's the George of the group -- quiet, pensive, and writing about world views n shit. Omg look what happens when I go on his Tumblr, it's honestly torture.


Okay, I gotta stop already. Last thoughts... I love in Novacane how dat bitch wanna be a dentist because that's like realistic n real shit. He also makes me feel young, like when you fuck him you're somehow re-losing your virginity because it's like when his "dad's not home" or whatever. But it's not like creepy pedo-nostalgia glamourizing tweens now or something, cuz that's like some Disney shit. It's like about sexy memories haha or whatever. Also, the visceral sound of the tape player's so hot because the album is straight up sensual. And also I love that he's optimistic about future generations.

Okay, DONE, I'm OVER it lol yeah right

July 27, 2011

fucked up shit

This is sooo fucked up, all that you're about to see. get ready. So first of all, in the 60s, it was verrrrry important for scientists to see if the drugs they were taking would do the same shit to kids. It did. Durrrr, you get fucked up, done.


Don't even try to tell me no one got molested/raped up in here because at least one did. It's funny that they're no difference except that kids are calmer I guess? Cuz they're naturally r*tarded?


Ew this one is SO GROSS, this makes me LESS sympathetic to cats. Ew, "cat nip" or something? WTF is that?


This one's actually kinda cute and funny. Hahahahaha the stoned rat is obviously the best. Matt and I were like HA HA HA HE'S SO HIGH. Kinda cute KINDA not really, barely.